Can someone please help?!?

So I am in love with this guy, but after a year he left me for several months, in which I closed myself off from the world and was heartbroken. My one attachment to my regular life was my best friend, who also happens to be a guy. He is the only reason I made it through that low point in my life. He made me feel less...hollow. Then my boyfriend came back and explained the reasons why he left me, and I had no choice but to forgive him...But I also wonder what it could have been like if he had stayed away and I could have had a life with my best friend instead.He and my boyfriend HATE EACH OTHER with a PASSION. And I am not trying to be conceited, but they fight over me all of the time. My best friend has gotten me alone to ask me on numerous occasions if I will leave my current boyfriend for him. He wants us to run away together. I love them both too much for words, but in different ways that I can't explain. Even I don't understand it completely. I am so confused. I know this isn't the kind of thing to put online, but I just don't know what to do, and don't want to get my friends involved in this messy situation.